Home Go to Sacred Living
The Journey to Vitality and Wholeness:
Sexual Healing - Emotional Integration - Erotic Empowerment
by Sunyata Satchitananda
Are you frustrated by the repetition of unhappy relationships with similar patterns that prevent deep intimacy and trust?
Have you withdrawn from seeking intimacy and sex because it’s easier to be alone and celibate than deal with the drama and emotional pain of a “relationship?”
Are you hoping there is more to sex and intimacy than what your experience has been?
Do you long for a “spiritual” connection in your sexual expression?
Are you tired of the same dysfunctional sabotaging that pops up, ruining your opportunities for intimacy and happiness?
Have you given up thinking you’ll find someone who really sees your beauty, your unique gifts, your divinity?
Are you plagued with thoughts and feelings of being not “good enough” or not desired by others?
People who have experienced trauma, abuse, sexual and emotional battering and wounding often feel they are in the situations described above. Adding to feelings of frustration is the thought of not knowing what to do or where to look for help with such intimate and private concerns.
Studies show that it is a rare exception to not have experienced the trauma or abuse and wounding mentioned above during one‘s lifetime. It seems most of us have embedded memories in our being of such experiences and it is these unprocessed experiences that subliminally effect our engagement with other people and the stories we tell ourselves about our life and relationships. Its only by processing and integrating these “shadow” aspects of one’s experience are we able to benefit from -instead of be at the mercy of- their energy and reclaim these alienated pieces of our self. Doing so brings relief and empowerment -a feeling of unity and wholeness pervades one’s being. Past situations and concerns that plagued us no longer inhibit or contract the experience of happiness and fulfillment we feel.
Emotional, mental, and physical trauma and abuse creates an acute experience which -understanding and acceptance of- is rejected as being unacceptable, frightening, and abhorrent. This rejection is a massive surge of emotional, mental, and physical energy that embeds in one’s being a clog of energy that acts like a sore muscle does when there’s a knot in it. These “energy knots” continue and can fester to greatly influence our life experience if not attended to.
Many people get by with coping skills that enlist anger, manipulation, or dominance -or retreat into depression, self abuse, or acting out. Often, feelings of low self esteem, worthlessness, unworthiness, and failure are unconsciously addressed by distractions: overcompensating with family, career, consuming hobbies, drug or alcohol abuse, overeating and/or indiscriminate sex. During our life experience whenever one comes up against a situation that triggers the wounding of the “energy knot,” a reaction occurs with unconscious behavior or words that often creates the opposite of what is in one's best interest or desired as an outcome.
Many therapy modalities exist and most are implemented as a form of “talk therapy” -endeavoring to clear impacted emotional blocks and distortions through the mind‘s functioning. Talk therapy provides treatment and processing that can be effective on a mental level by providing some intellectual understanding, limited emotional level activation -and very little, if any, physical engagement. Alternately, most “body therapies” don’t consciously or purposely engage the emotions or seek to bring new consciousness into effect.
When emotional wounding, abuse, and trauma enter one’s awareness it triggers thoughts, emotions, and physical feelings that combine to embed lasting tender spots in one’s psyche. Because the imprinting of abuse and trauma involves all three aspects of being (emotional, mental and physical), the process of releasing emotional wounds and integrating their power necessarily involves all three aspects as well. Without this holistic approach to clearing, releasing, and integrating blocked energy, often only limited and temporary effects are felt.
Because many of the occurrences of abuse and trauma happen in connection with the sexual body (incest, rape, sexual abuse, molestation, sexual hazing) a healing modality that addresses this aspect directly in a therapeutic process is preferred. Sexual Healers (Daka, Dakini, Sacred Intimate, Intimacy Coach, Sexological Bodyworker, Sensual Guide) provide such a holistic health service with knowledge, expertise, and experience in activating and addressing the emotional, mental, and physical aspects of self in releasing and shifting blocked energies for a return to wholeness.
Sexual Healers provide safe space with sacred intention -holding precious the vulnerability of -and trust placed in them by- their client. A clear container that respects boundaries and adeptly guides the client to deeper layers of opening, acceptance, and releasing, provides the basis of a healing session. Sexual Healers work with one’s personal evolutionary impulse (entelechy) and help one to open up to what wants to be cleared, shifted, and released to create a new feeling of empowered completeness in the client.
Sexual Healers provide a feeling of safety, confidence, acceptance, non-judgment, inspiration and new possibility. They engage and activate the emotional body by a process that includes physical and mental stimulation catalyzing energy knots to release and open -allowing energy to flow freely again. By quieting the mind to release mundane concerns, guiding with a relaxed focus and simple visualization, and adding appropriate higher-consciousness, the mental component on the path to integration is addressed. By also engaging the physical body through sensual touch that both relaxes the body and stimulates erotic energy, the Daka or Dakini provides an effective means to loosen and shift energy knots into releasing and integration. The intention is not for sexual gratification, rather, erotic energy is enlisted for its catalytic and healing ability.
Sexual Healers function similarly to other alternative health service providers and counselors/coaches, setting up a program of sessions that addresses the unique circumstances of the client. Unwinding emotional energy knots and returning to wholeness and empowerment is a process that often requires more than one session for complete results to be felt.
The Journey "Home"
The journey to healing and wholeness is a process that contains feelings of accomplishment, relief and ecstatic joy -as well as aspects of anxiety, discomfort, and fear because these elements are entwined in the energy knot. When these knots are unraveled and released, significant discomfort (accompanying relief) can result. This can prompt the ego to challenge the wisdom of the path one is taking to heal and release these energy knots. The situation is similar to someone starting an exercise program for the first time -muscles that haven't been worked very hard begin to "complain" and one's resolve is challenged, often ending the exercise program and the good intentions of the individual. People who complete their course of healing and integration report feeling more beautiful, sexy, clear, attractive, confident, empowered, and whole. You, dear reader, are invited to look within and discover the places where you have contraction, restriction, or inhibition and seek guidance and a program of healing and integration so you also can feel the benefits of holistic health, emotional and psychological vitality, and be inspired to new heights of expression and well-being.
Have a comment or question? Visit our Sacred Living Forum to start or join a conversation.
About the Author
Daka-Sacred Intimate, Certified Tantric Healer ~ Reiki Practitioner
Many years ago my journey of awakening and discovery catapulted me into an expanded spiritual consciousness and greater awareness of myself and my interactions with others—primarily within the realms of intimacy, relationship and sexuality. My path has brought me to profound insights and uncovered unique gifts that I now use to aid others to also gain a higher perspective of life and greater understanding of the divine vehicle that comprises their being in living and loving in this lifetime.
I believe every one of us has the ability and capacity to feel a sense of integral wholeness regarding our expression and experience of sexuality, intimacy and harmony in committed relationship. When we are faced with challenges to this sense of congruity and the dynamic "aliveness" that it creates, it is often very difficult to understand what to do to integrate these contracted or wounded aspects on our own—we need help from a safe, reliable and experienced guide. As a mature man who has accomplished much of his personal growth and integration, I offer my sacred service as such a guide. Please contact me if I can be of service to your process and path of spiritual expansion and growth or emotional, psychological—or sexual healing, integration and well-being.