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or how to rewire our brains for healthy relationships

Offered by Dr. Neala Peake,

ATH Editor-in-Chief and Co-Founder


We all have unconscious core patterns and beliefs that affect our lives and relationships. Change these beliefs and you change your life.

Henry Ford, the wealthy and successful business man said “Whether you think you can, or think you can’t, you’re right”. Clearly, Henry Ford understood the power of our personal assumptions. When we assume we are worthy of a successful love relationship, our confidence shows. Our behavior can be friendlier, and more open which tends to draw people to us. On the other hand, when we are unsure of ourselves, insecurity can make us tense and more socially anxious. If we believe we are lovable it is easier to act in ways that allow people to love us: but if we believe the opposite we can as easily sabotage our chances at love. Where do these powerful, life changing and life determining beliefs come from? And even more important, can we change them, thereby changing the quality of our relationships?

The experiences of our childhood become hardwired into the way our brain processes information. The child who experiences undue and constant criticism from cold, unloving parents may grow into an apologetic adult who always assumes they are inadequate or unlovable. They may constantly put themselves down or compensate by being over-bearing, or putting others down. They become afraid of intimacy because they believe themselves unlovable and assume they will be rejected; or they act out the opposite extreme and obsessively cling to anyone they get close to. However it manifests, their behavior and therefore their relationships are profoundly affected by what they believe about themselves and about intimacy. Does this mean that our childhood creates an inescapable mold for our future relationships? Absolutely not. Luckily, the tools exist to positively change the way our brains are wired.

All of us are, to some extent, shaped by our earlier experiences in life. Each experience is recorded and stored in our unconscious mind. We then project these beliefs back into the world. If you believe your mate will criticize you, you may very well unconsciously act in a way that garners his or her criticism. And when the expected criticism arrives, you may find yourself incapable of handling it in a rational or effective way. The brain has become hardwired to expect certain behaviors and thereby to react in certain ways. These beliefs become our core patterns. Core patterns can change. The work involved in changing them is challenging but there are some very clear steps to doing so.

The first step is to intellectually understand what the patterns are. That may seem easy, but acknowledging these patterns is challenging as it means being willing to look at our own shortcomings and frequently to re-visit past scenarios where painful wounds first occurred.

The next step involves dealing with these wounds on the emotional level. Emotions are the glue that hold these patterns together. We are not free of the patterns until we can face the emotions, release the pain and move beyond it into emotional freedom. At that point we have re-wired our brains to embrace and accept positive intimate interactions leaving us freer to love.

The process may not be quite as easy as it sounds, since our unconscious (by definition that which we are unaware of) defends its beliefs and is resistant to change. It is said that when the student is ready, the teacher appears. In this case, one might say when the person is ready for change, the healer will appear. There are many psychologists and spiritual healers who are trained to take you through this wonderful, challenging and often painful voyage of healing. But only when you are ready.

 If you are ready now, this workshop is for you.


Click here for upcoming Workshops with Dr. Neala Peake.



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About the Author

Dr. Neala Peake is the co-founder and Editor-in-Chief of AllThingsHealing.com and the author of The Journey of Spiritual Cultivation: Healing Through Meditation and Spiritual Practice and Intertwining of Time: A Multi-dimensional Story of Love and Healing. She conducts meditation and healing workshops and works with individuals (both in person and over phone -Skype) to help them heal by changing their core emotional patterns through a blending of meditation, spiritual practice and psychology. For more information, check out her website at NealaPeake.com.


Click here for upcoming Workshops with Dr. Neala Peake.

Click here for information regarding individual sessions.


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