order finasteride

Home                                                                                                              Go to Psychotherapy

 

How Compatible Are You and Your Partner?
by Kim Olver, MS, LPC, NCC

 


Editor's Note: This article discusses five basic needs of choice that each person experiences in life and in their intimate relationships suggesting that comparing these needs with those of your partner is a good indicator of compatibility.  Suggestions are provided for learning how to become more compatible with your partner.

What are the things you argue about? Where are the disagreements? The small resentments? Where do you have to give in to get along? 

Do you argue over money? Are you fighting over sex? Do you have different ideas about how much time you should spend together and apart? Do you squabble over extended family and friends? Is one of you daring and reckless, while the other wants to play things safe? Does one of you want to be right all the time? Does one of you want to always be in control? Do you disagree about the fun activities in your life? 

Couples may have conflict over many areas but do you know there is a simple explanation for the conflict?  When looking for a life partner, it is a good idea to take a close look at your "Need Strength Profile", based on Dr. William Glasser's work in the area of Choice Theory. This simple assessment will determine where you and your partner are in terms of the five basic needs and help you determine what areas are compatible and what areas should generate discussion and possible compromise and negotiation.

There is a free assessment at www.therelationshipcenter.biz on the "Free Stuff" page that will provide a rudimentary understanding of where you are with regard to the five basic human needs of Choice Theory---love & belong, survival, power, freedom and fun. If you are seeking compatibility in a relationship, you and your partner can both take this assessment and then discuss your results based on the rest of this article. 

The first need is called love & belonging. It is the need that determines how much connection you require with others.  Generally speaking, relationships work best when you have equivalent strengths of the love & belonging need. This is the need that will help you determine as a couple how much time you spend together and how much time is needed apart. Loving sex and romance is another aspect of this need, as are extended family and friends. 

The second of the five basic needs is survival. This is so much more than just the need to physically survive, although that is part of it. It is also the psychological need to feel safe and secure. Areas of potential conflict around this need involve the ability to adapt to change, how you spend and save money, preparations one makes for safety, spontaneity, among other things. 

The third of the human needs is power, which can be a difficult need to understand because power generally has a negative connotation associated with it. When people hear "power" they often think of one person exerting their power over another person. While this is one way, albeit not the best way, to meet one's power need, there are two other ways which are more responsible and palatable. 

There are three ways to meet one's need for power---power over others, power with others and power within ourselves. Power over others is not a responsible way to meet one's power need because it interferes with the other person getting his or her needs met. There are plenty of people who use power over others but I am advocating for the other two ways when seeking compatibility in relationships.

When people have a high need for power, they are born driven to get this need met. They don't know how to get it met; they just know they must find power. Often, you can observe in small children the tendency to power over others. Then, hopefully, life teaches children the other two ways to seek power. 

When you look for "power with" others, it means that you are able to work cohesively with a group of people to advance toward a common goal. Many winning sports teams display this "power with" concept, as well as effective work teams and even fully functioning families. "Power with" others can be a very satisfying way of meeting one's power needs. 

The final way to meet one's need for power is "power within" oneself. This is generally seen as a need for pride or competence. Those with a high power need who meet it through power within methods like to always do their best. They may seem to be perfectionistic but producing their best is very need satisfying to them. 

In relationships, this power need accounts for workaholism, people who always need to control everything around them and a low degree of tolerance for imperfection in others. The power need has a big influence in interpersonal relationships.

The fourth need to discuss is the need for freedom.  People with a high need for freedom are independent and like to do things their own way. High freedom need people generally don't like rules---particularly ones that don't make sense. They also value their time alone. They like to do what they want, when they want. 
There is usually an inverse relationship between the love & belonging and the freedom needs. When a person has a high need for love & belonging, he or she typically has a lower need for freedom and vice versa. Of course, there are exceptions but typically there is an opposite relationship between the two. 

The last of Choice Theory's basic human needs is fun. Fun seems pretty straightforward but there are some subtleties to it that are necessary to understand. There are basically three kinds of fun. There is the loud, energetic kind of fun that people might get from physical activity and parties, for example. There is the quiet, relaxing kind of fun that might be enjoyed by fishing, lying in a hammock on a warm summer's day or reading for pleasure. Then there is learning as fun. 

Now, I'm not talking about when you learned algebra! For most of us that wasn't fun but I am talking about learning something you are interested in that has useful application for you. For me, the best example is when I learned how to downhill ski and made it the first time down the slope without falling and getting snow down my jacket, up my pant legs and various other places! It is the sheer joy of learning something that interests you. Everyone has various ways of meeting their fun needs and it is these differences that can drastically affect your satisfaction in your relationship. 

It is not always true that in order for your relationship to succeed, you must have equal or almost equal need strengths in all five needs. For some needs, it is best when one of you is high and one of you is low in that need.

There is so much to learn about improving the significant relationships in our lives. Sign up for our free teleconference, Relationships, The Choice Theory Way.  This teleconference is a live conference and is held the second Tuesday of every month.  When you sign up you will receive my free article, Top Ten Things of What to Do and What Not to Do in Relationships. Sign up today and start improving the important relationships in your life.

 

 

Please "Add a Comment" at the bottom of this page or blog in our Forum here
Please do not use apostrophes in your comments.

 

 



About the Author


Kim Olver, MS, LPC, NCC, is a life, relationship and executive coach. Her mission is to help people get along better with the important people in their lives. She teaches people how to live from the inside out by empowering them to focus on the things they can change. She in an internationally recognized speaker, having worked in Australia and the continent of Africa, as well as all over the United States. She has consulted with the NBA and other major league player development specialists. She is the author of Leveraging Diversity at Work and the forthcoming book, Relationship Empowerment. She co-authored a book with Ken Blanchard, Les Brown, Mark Victor Hansen and Byron Katie, entitled 101 Great Ways to Improve Your Life. She works with individuals, couples, parents, social service agencies, schools, corporations and the military--anyone who will benefit from gaining more effective control over their lives. She has consulted on relationships, parenting, self-development, training, leadership development, diversity, treatment programs and management styles.

Get your copy of Kim Oliver's book, Secrets of Happy Couples.

 

 

 

Add a Comment   
    Recent Comments
08-03-2017 01:11:12
2017.8.3xukaimin

birkenstock outlet

coach outlet online

ugg boots outlet

nike huarache uk

michael kors geldbeutel

michael kors handbags

birkenstock sandals

ralph lauren soldes

michael kors outlet

michael kors outlet

mulberry uk

ray ban online

ugg slippers

ralph lauren italia

adidas soccer shoes

coach outlet store online

adidas yeezy boost 350

michael kors väska rea

michael kors geldbörse

nike soccer cleats

louis vuitton outlet

longchamp sac

jordan shoes

ugg outlet online

nfl jerseys wholesale

pandora jewelry

michael kors outlet

coach outlet

nike roshe run

adidas yeezy boost 350 v2

coach outlet

ray ban sunglasses

ysl handbags

uggs clearance

burberry outlet

pandora charms

adidas originals shoes

adidas outlet

nike air max 2017

adidas nmd r1

michael kors väska rea

louis vuitton handbags

coach outlet

prada bags

michael kors handbags

ray ban sunglasses

ray ban sunglasses outlet

diego costa jersey

occhiali da sole ray ban

hermes outlet

kate spade handbags

coach outlet

michael kors handbags

michael kors bags

nike air max

cheap snapbacks hats

ugg outlet

nike trainers uk

michael kors outlet

rolex datejust 2

mlb jerseys

ralph lauren shirts

oakley sunglasses outlet

rolex daytona

coach factory online

ralph lauren españa

le coq sportif

coach handbags

lebron 14 shoes

longchamp handbags

hermes outlet

nike roshe 1

ed hardy shirts

oakley sunglasses

christian louboutin shoes

burberry outlet online

oakley sunglasses

true religion jeans

yeezy boost 350 v2

michael kors canada

coach outlet online

nike outlet

ralph lauren uk

christian louboutin outlet online

mlb jerseys

fitflop outlet

yeezy boost 350 v2

uggs clearance

yeezy 350 v2

uggs outlet

polo ralph lauren uk

nhl jerseys

hermes birkin bag

cheap jordan shoes

burberry outlet online

ralph lauren outlet

louis vuitton outlet

coach outlet store online

ray ban zonnebril sale

uggs classic boots

2017.8.3xukaimin
By :xukaimin
07-03-2017 06:10:53
20170703lck

polo ralph lauren outlet

louis vuitton outlet stores

canada goose outlet store

reebok shoes

cheap mlb jerseys

swarovski outlet

mulberry handbags sale

ray ban sunglasses outlet

burberry canada

ferragamo outlet

cheap soccer jerseys

adidas nmd

cheap nfl jerseys

mulberry bags

coach outlet store online

true religion outlet uk

true religion jeans

true religion outlet

oakley sunglasses

coach outlet online

uggs outlet

cheap ray bans

coach factory outlet

michael kors outlet

michael kors outlet clearance

louis vuitton outlet

fitflops sale clearance

true religion outlet

cheap oakley sunglasses

canada goose jackets

michael kors outlet online

true religion jeans sale

nba jerseys

coach outlet clearance

polo outlet online

coach outlet online

coach outlet

michael kors outlet store

cheap ray ban sunglasses

oakley sunglasses wholesale

michael kors outlet clearance

mulberry handbags

ray ban wayfarer

coach factory outlet

nike air huarache

adidas shoes

tory burch handbags

cheap nike shoes

christian louboutin shoes

coach factory outlet

pandora outlet

air max 90

true religion jeans

oakley sunglasses wholesale

coach outlet

yeezy boost

birkenstock shoes

polo outlet store

pandora outlet

kate spade handbags

adidas shoes

ralph lauren polo

michael kors outlet online

fitflops

ralph lauren uk

hermes birkin bag

ed hardy outlet

nike outle

louis vuitton outlet stores

sac louis vuitton pas cher

michael kors outlet online

coach outlet

yeezy boost 350

coach outlet

omega outlet

true religion outlet

kate spade uk

louis vuitton

coach factory outlet

pandora outlet

longchamp handbags

pandora charms

cheap ray ban sunglasses

air max trainers

louis vuitton

Nike Free shoes

canada goose uk

michael kors outlet

ray bans

ysl outlet online

tory burch sandals

cheap oakley sunglasses

cheap ray ban sunglasses

michael kors outlet

mulberry uk

michael kors outlet

mac cosmetics sale

ralph lauren uk

fitflops sale clearance

christian louboutin uk

cheap oakley sunglasses

polo ralph lauren outlet

polo ralph lauren

chrome hearts outlet

nike outlet

canada goose jackets

polo ralph lauren

cheap oakley sunglasses

prada outlet online

cheap ray ban sunglasses

ferragamo shoes

max 1

ray-ban sunglasses

ray ban sunglasses uk

converse shoes sale

coach outlet online

michael kors factory outlet

cheap football shirts

coach outlet online

michael kors outlet

coach outlet store online

polo pas cher

polo ralph lauren

rolex watches

tory burch outlet

longchamp handbags

oakley sunglasses wholesale

polo ralph lauren

tory burch outlet online

louis vuitton bags

michael kors outlet clearance

coach outlet

gucci outlet online

christian louboutin outlet

coach outlet

foamposite shoes

air max 90

ray ban sunglasses

oakley sunglasses wholesale

adidas shoes

bottega veneta outlet online

links of london jewellery

ugg outlet

michael kors outlet stores

polo ralph lauren

coach outlet online coach factory outlet

soccer jerseys wholesale

michael kors uk

cheap nba jerseys

michael kors outlet online

snapbacks wholesale

canada goose outlet store

air max shoes

nhl jerseys

birkenstock shoes

coach outlet store online

michael kors outlet clearance

michael kors outlet clearance

mulberry outlet

fitflops uk

mulberry outlet

oakley sunglasses

christian louboutin shoes

nike shoes

longchamp outlet online

louis vuitton

polo outlet

herve leger dresses

nike outlet online

nba jerseys wholesale

oakley sunglasses wholesale

cheap oakley sunglasses

coach outlet online

polo outlet

ferragamo shoes sale

polo ralph lauren

michael kors outlet clearance

coach outlet online

nike roshe run

coach factory outlet

adidas outlet

mont blanc outlet

oakley sunglasses wholesale

nike store uk

coach outlet

christian louboutin sale

michael kors outlet online

coach outlet online coach factory outlet

ralph lauren outlet

coach outlet store online

ralph lauren polo

nike trainers uk

polo ralph lauren outlet

true religion jeans

louis vuitton

kate spade outlet online

ralph lauren polo

supra shoes sale

michael kors outlet clearance

ralph lauren shirts

chrome hearts online store

coach outlet online

fred perry polo

coach outlet online

mulberry handbags

cartier watches for women

ralph?lauren

ralph lauren outlet stores

swarovski jewellery

swarovski jewelry

cheap ray ban sunglasses

fitflops sale clearance

michael kors outlet

cheap jerseys wholesale

polo ralph lauren

nfl jerseys

cheap replica watches

coach outlet online

louis vuitton outlet online

oakley sunglasses sale

louis vuitton

fitflops

ralph lauren

michael kors outlet online

ralph lauren

coach outlet store online

oakley sunglasses

nike shoes for women

cheap oakley sunglasses

michael kors outlet

michael kors outlet clearance

kobe shoes

louis vuitton

canada goose

oakley sunglasses wholesale

cartier outlet

air max 90

snapbacks wholesale

ralph lauren

louis vuitton outlet

coach outlet

ray ban sunglasses uk

tory burch outlet online

adidas nmd runner

nike shoes uk

ray ban sunglasses outlet

michael kors canada

michael kors outlet clearance

juicy couture tracksuit

ralph lauren outlet

ray ban sunglasses

fitflops uk

michael kors outlet clearance

louis vuitton borse

nike outlet store online

mcm backpacks

rolex outlet

reebok shoes

christian louboutin sale

rolex watches outlet

valentino shoes

coach outlet online

coach handbags outlet

cheap ray ban sunglasses

polo ralph lauren outlet

ralph lauren outlet

coach outlet online

true religion outlet

louis vuitton outlet

nike shoes outlet

louis vuitton outlet online

oakley sunglasses wholesale

gucci outlet online

michael kors uk

jordan shoes

michael kors handbags

coach outlet

coach outlet

polo outlet

coach outlet store

kd shoes

nike air max 90

mbt shoes outlet

michael kors outlet online

cheap jordans

true religion jeans outlet

lacoste outlet

cartier watches

nhl jerseys wholesale

canada goose outlet online

louis vuitton outlet store

cheap oakley sunglasses

coach outlet

rolex watches,rolex watches,swiss watches,watches for men,watches for women,omega watches,replica watches,rolex watches for sale,rolex replica,rolex watch,cartier watches,rolex submariner,fake rolex,rolex replica watches,replica rolex

ralph lauren?uk

cartier watches

nike roshe run

michael kors outlet online

christian louboutin shoes

louis vuitton

20170703lck
By :liuchunkai
06-01-2017 06:10:22
chenlina20170601

lebron shoes

michael kors outlet

kate spade outlet

columbia sportswear

wizards jerseys

boston celtics jerseys

timberland boots

louis vuitton outlet

vikings jerseys

rolex watches

oakley vault

louis vuitton purses

timberland boots

cheap jordan shoes

adidas football boots

louis vuitton outlet

coach outlet online

ralph lauren uk

ray ban sunglasses

tory burch outlet

ralph lauren uk

michael kors handbags

celine outlet

jordan retro

toms shoes

nike running

kate spade outlet

toms outlet

replica rolex watches

lunettes ray ban

mlb jerseys

celine handbags

tory burch outlet

oakley sunglasses

vans shoes

coach outlet

timberland boots uk

burberry outlet

polo ralph lauren

mcm outlet

vans shoes

salomon shoes

louis vuitton uk

coach factory outlet

christian louboutin

christian louboutin chaussures

michael kors outlet

christian louboutin

louis vuitton handbags

ray ban eyeglasses

nike roshe run pas cher

vans shoes

nike air max pas cher

miami heat jerseys

nfl jerseys wholesale

burberry sale

pandora jewelry

michael kors

manolo blahnik

coach purses

prada bags

coach factory outlet

ugg slippers

louis vuitton outlet online

michael kors outlet

coach factory outlet

ugg boots

cheap mlb jerseys

air jordan

pandora jewelry

louboutin pas cher

converse shoes

michael kors outlet

polo ralph lauren

louis vuitton outlet

vibram fivefingers

polo ralph lauren

under armour outlet

cheap nfl jerseys

coach factory outlet

michael kors handbags

louis vuitton belt

omega watches

nhl jerseys

pittsburgh steelers jerseys

coach factory outlet

louis vuitton outlet

coach outlet

ugg boots

scarpe hogan

louboutin pas cher

burberry outlet

louis vuitton outlet

ray ban sunglasses

ugg boots

cleveland cavaliers jerseys

ray ban wayfarer

spurs jerseys

christian louboutin uk

mac cosmetics outlet

michael kors handbags

toms outlet

clippers jerseys

hermes belt

hermes uk

gucci handbags

michael kors uk

gucci outlet online

uggs on clearance

kate spade outlet

ralph lauren polo

louis vuitton handbags

louis vuitton outlet

ray ban sunglasses

toms wedges

cheap jordan shoes

ferragamo belt

christian louboutin shoes

adidas stan smith

prada sunglasses

giuseppe zanotti shoes

rolex watches for sale

abercrombie and fitch

oakley sunglasses

coach outlet canada

yeezy boost 350

jordan femme pas cher

timberland outlet

true religion sale

coach outlet

jordan 3

nike soccer shoes

polo outlet

coach outlet

michael kors bags

longchamp pas cher

adidas stan smith

coach outlet

bengals jerseys

oakley canada

louis vuitton outlet

adidas yeezy

ralph lauren outlet

louis vuitton handbags

calvin klein jeans

louis vuitton handbags

true religion outlet

tory burch

michael kors canada

cheap basketball shoes

sac louis vuitton

michael kors

coach outlet

oakley sunglasses

vans store

ray ban canada

christian louboutin shoes

polo ralph lauren

adidas outlet

christian louboutin outlet

replica watches

ralph lauren

warriors jerseys

coach factory outlet

pandora charms

tommy hilfiger outlet

beats by dre

ray bans uk

asics shoes

louis vuitton handbags

polo ralph lauren

nfl jerseys cheap

michael kors outlet

michael kors

prada outlet

ray ban sunglasses

ray ban sunglasses

michael kors outlet

nike outlet

rolex watches

kate spade outlet

new balance shoes

louis vuitton outlet

oakley sunglasses

coach handbags

coach factory outlet

gucci shoes

louis vuitton outlet

michael kors uk

retro jordans

cheap snapbacks

kate spade

oakley sunglasses

kate spade handbags

pandora rings

adidas soccer shoes

louis vuitton outlet

oakley vault

supra shoes

giuseppe zanotti

pandora jewelry

louis vuitton outlet stores

michael kors handbags

ray ban sunglasses

christian louboutin sale

burberry handbags

louis vuitton outlet

adidas nmd

salvatore ferragamo

christian louboutin

asics shoes

manchester united jersey

christian louboutin outlet

coach factory outlet

fitflops outlet

oakley sunglasses

borse louis vuitton

beats by dr dre

kobe shoes

canada goose jackets

michael kors handbags

michael kors outlet

jordan 8

adidas yeezy

louis vuitton outlet

canada goose outlet

clarks outlet

adidas neo

true religion jeans

thunder jerseys

converse shoes

fred perry outlet

salvatore ferragamo shoes

the north face jackets

michael kors uk

seahawks jerseys

seahawks jerseys

louis vuitton outlet

oakley sunglasses

broncos jerseys

clarks shoes

nike shoes

louboutin outlet

ralph lauren outlet

louis vuitton

air jordan 14

tory burch outlet

adidas nmd r1

mbt shoes

michael kors tote

patriots jerseys

nfl jerseys wholesale

ray ban sunglasses

ray ban sunglasses

ray ban sunglasses uk

bulls jerseys

coach outlet

the north face

oakley sunglasses

jordan 4

michael kors handbags

louis vuitton handbags

columbia sportswear

chelsea jersey

oakley sunglasses

michael kors outlet

michael kors handbags

michael kors outlet

louis vuitton handbags

coach outlet

canada goose sale

ugg outlet

louis vuitton outlet stores

the north face

fitflops sandals

ed hardy clothing

cheap jerseys

michael jordan shoes

louis vuitton outlet

kobe shoes

columbia outlet

oakley sunglasses

nfl jerseys cheap

knicks jerseys

tiffany and co

jordan 6

nike football boots

sac longchamp

ralph lauren uk

ray ban sunglasses

timberland boots

michael kors outlet

instyler max

coach outlet

christian louboutin uk

oakley sunglasses

chaussures christian louboutin

ralph lauren outlet

michael kors canada

oakley store

jordan 13

louis vuitton handbags

mavericks jerseys

ugg boots clearance

coach factory outlet

ugg boots

michael kors handbags

clarks shoes

louis vuitton belt

kd shoes

north face

coach outlet

ralph lauren

polo ralph lauren outlet

michael kors outlet online

ralph lauren outlet

michael kors canada

adidas yeezy

chenlina20170601
By :chenlixiang

[1]

Tags
http://buyambienonlineeasy.com/http://orderultram.net/

Spiritual & Healing Practices | Healthy Lifestyles | Community | Arts | Find Practitioners & Orgs | Forums
Our Store | Aldea Verde de Costa Rica | Submissions | Editors | Terms and Conditions | About Us / Contact Us

 

Disclaimer. Each category is under the supervision of dedicated editors who are passionate about their topic and believe that raising people's awareness is one way to make a difference in the world. You may or may not agree with all that is presented. Since respectful discourse is an excellent way to learn and grow, we welcome comments on articles and your participation on the Forums.

  © 2010-2017 Inspiring Change, LLC     REGISTER      LOGIN Web by MacDaddi | Developed by AWE