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The Day I Spoke to God and Got an Answer
by Stephanie Marie Beeby, MS
Editor's Note from Jodi Chapman : Stephanie wrote this powerful and deeply moving post last fall (2011), on the fifth anniversary of her dad’s death. She is open, raw, and completely vulnerable in both her writing and her video. She chose to share her soul with us so that we could each be present and allow our own authenticity to shine. What I adore about Stephanie is her ability to put herself out there and be completely real. In doing so, she inspires me to do the same. My flame is definitely burning brighter because she is here. Please read on and then watch the video to learn about the powerful image that appeared for her and what it means for each of us.
Today marks five years since my dad, Kenneth William Beeby, chose to leave this earthly plane. It represents a day that sent me into a place that very few knew I have ventured down… the dark, scary place of complete separation from all that I loved at that time.
Having experienced the loss of my brother did not prepare me to lose my dad. Though some might believe it did – I would have to disagree. Losing a parent when you are only 27 and knowing you haven’t had all the moments to express what you wanted to is devastating.
This sudden loss of my dad made me question my direction, my life, my purpose, and whether I even wanted to continue… Yes, I am saying what you think I am saying: I considered taking my own life on December 28, 2006. It was a day I will always remember… it was the moment in my life when I got REAL with GOD and asked to see WHY I AM HERE… so intensely that I had to hear an answer.
It was this day that I asked for help from my boyfriend (at the time) and from those who knew me. Asking for help was something I had not mastered at that point in my life, and when I asked it was not met with the response I was hoping for – which caused a spiraling meltdown of complete darkness, sadness and separation. It created the space for me to express deeply to God/Source what I was intimately experiencing in a profound way. There was no way to hide or ignore it any longer. Though, looking back, I can see what a beautiful moment that was.
Imagine… your dad dies suddenly. You are feeling very lonely and needing help. You have a hard time asking for help, and when you finally do it is met with resistance and a “No.” What do you do?
Well, I started to write…and write…and then write some more. It was like everything poured out of me that ever wanted to say to my dad, to my boyfriend, and to God/Source. Questions, beliefs, and acknowledgement of so many deep-rooted philosophies that I was becoming aware of even in the moment of the writing. It was like instant clarity and shock all at the same time.
I GOT real and just owned everything I had ever even considered saying, thinking, and being. It was a surreal moment – one that grateful for. I am so blessed to know that I could be at THAT place and then be living the life I do now. Talk about miracles! I can’t not believe in them given that situation and those feelings and that darkness – that pain. And now to be free, to be clear, and to have the courage of speaking the truth the way I do is seriously a miracle.
Well… I felt inspired to share a bit of what happened when I faced God and asked “Why??” So I hope you will watch this short video where I explain what the answer to that question was and how it shapes my life today!
Can you believe it?
That vision I had anchors me even today in my work. I am so looking forward to the day where I meet someone who paints it for me. I will always be able to tap into that day when I realized I MATTERED. And remember, this vision is not just for me. It was meant for me to share with YOU…yes YOU!
To make sure that YOU KNOW that YOU MATTER… that YOU were born with sacred agreements and to not fulfill those would be letting at least one person down. So show up and TRUST that your calling to move forward to be “that” is for a MUCH BIGGER PURPOSE! Your Divine Audience is beckoning YOU to BE Your Message Now!
May YOU continue to BE that which YOU are.. glorious, gifted and loved!
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About the Author
- referred to as “The Soul Whisperer” is known for her savvy business skills and intuitive nature. She has a knack for combining her strategic mindset with getting to the heart of every situation to assist in turning your inner whisper into action. She assists people in fostering the depth of this inner journey, opening up to joyously receiving, so they are able to express themselves fully in their business and their life. Holding 11 life purposes in the School of Love, she cultivates this love space in relationship to foster even more expansion, fun, and realized manifestations. Stephanie Marie Beeby, MS www.stephaniebeeby.com