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Do Spirit Babies Have a Predetermined Gender?
by Christine Nightingale, BA, RM, CH 


In my work helping parents communicate with their unborn or not yet conceived children I am often asked this I am often asked this question. 

This excerpt from a reading will shed some light on this subject.

Christine: (addressing client’s deceased maternal grandfather) are you here?

G: I’m here.

Christine: What would you like to say?

G: I had the honour of being my grand-daughter’s Spirit Guide all these years. 

Christine: What does that involve?

G: Oh, you know, steering her in the right direction. Helping her make correct choices. And reminding her to have fun too. Life is meant to be enjoyed. It can’t all be work (smiles).

C: How has she done so far?

G: I am very proud of my grand-daughter. She is an adorable, loving person. She will be a great mom. And she chose well. I like her partner. He is a fine young man, responsible, good to her. He will make a good dad.

Christine: They will be wanting to know about the Spirit Baby.

G: (chuckles) Well then, I guess I will have to tell them. I hope they are prepared to give me a new lease on life.

C: What do you mean?

G: I would like to come in as one of their children. There is also a little girl here wanting to come in. So we have to discuss who will be first.

Christine: I thought that was usually decided in advance? That one Spirit Baby lined up first?

G: Usually if a Spirit Baby lines up in the mother’s aura, which can happen very soon after the mother’s birth, that would be the first baby she would have. But I did not do that. I wanted to stay with my grand-daughter as her Guide from the time I crossed over. Now I would like to come back to earth as a baby.

Christine: I imagine that her grandma would be intrigued by that!

G: Yes, she is a wonderful woman, and will make a great great- grandma too (chuckles again). I have missed her, but at the same time I have always been close by. It is possible for Spirit to be in two places at once. I hope that my beloved wife  has felt my presence sometimes. It was hard to leave so early. But I was thrilled to have such an important way to stay close to my family.

Christine: So you and the little girl are deciding who will come first?

G: Well, actually we have sort of worked it out already.

Christine: Who comes first?

G: Spirit babies have no control over the gender of the  body which will become available  first. It could  be a boy or a girl. So if one spirit baby is  first in line, that baby has to decide whether they want to take the body on offer, so to speak. Some babies just want the parents, regardless of the body’s gender.. . Some have a strong preference as to whether they want to be male or female in this lifetime.

My grand-daughter will be pregnant within a year. But we don’t know whether the first baby body will be a boy or a girl. We have both decided though which we want to be. So if a boy is conceived first it will be me who attaches myself to the body.

If it’s a girl body, then the girl spirit comes in first.

Christine: How does that work?

G: When the parents make love they form a beautiful gold conception cradle above the mother’s head, at her crown chakra. The body of the baby is like a car without a driver before that happens. The spirit baby who has chosen the parents goes in to the conception cradle and attaches itself to the body of the baby. That way the baby body becomes viable. Until that happens it’s just a body.

Christine: So there are two of you waiting to come in, and you want to be a boy again, while the other spirit baby wants to be a girl.

G: Yes.

Christine: May I speak to the girl Spirit baby, please?

SB peeks out shyly from behind G. G appears to me clairvoyantly in the form of an older man with smile lines around his eyes. The little girl looks about 5. She has the appearance of a Chinese child, which would be her last incarnation.) I need a mommy who will love me.

Christine: I am sure that she will love you.

SB: My last mommy did not want me because I was a girl. She only wanted a boy.

Christine: I understand that this is the law in China, a family can only have one child.

SB: Yes. but I was the first one. I chose that mummy and knew that maybe she would not accept me. Still it hurt very much that she did not want me.

Christine: So your last parents chose not to have you?

SB: (looks much younger now, sucking her thumb, speaks in a small voice) They sent me away before I could be born. It made me very sad.

Christine: Yes, of course it did. I am sure that your new parents  will welcome you.

SB: I really wanted to be a girl before. Now I just want a mummy who will really love me even if I am a girl.

Christine: I understand that you want to be loved. I am sure that your new parents will feel that way. I don’t think they would love a girl less than a boy.

SB: My big brother is very good to me. He was already here when I came. I was just looking for a mommy and daddy who would not send me away no matter what.

Christine: I think your new mommy and daddy have room in their hearts for two or even more children.

SB: My brother will come in first if there is a boy body, I will come in first if there is a girl body. But what if there are two girls or two boys?

Christine: I guess you and your brother have to talk about whether you are willing to be either.

SB: I love this mommy and daddy. Mommy is so sweet and kind. I need a mommy like that. I would be willing to be a boy if there are two boys.

G: (chuckles) Well, I guess I never thought this through. I have never had a life as a girl, but I am positive about the parents I want to be with. And it is possible there could be two girls ,of course. So if I need a lot of extra help in knowing how to become a good woman, my parents will understand why.

Christine: Could you explain?

G: A soul is neither male nor female. Most souls have taken on both genders in different lives for various reasons. The world has changed a great deal even in the time I have been on the other side. And roles are changing so much. In some countries women still are very badly treated as my future sister was the last time. For that reason alone it might be harder to be a woman, if one has never before experienced those kinds of challenges.

Christine: I guess with roles changing so much there are great challenges in being a woman because there are more choices. At the same time men have to be more involved with their families if they want their wives to be happy.

G: So you are saying that even being a boy will be more complicated than the last time for me?

SB: I have never been a boy, but I am willing to be a boy if there are two boy babies. I just want this mommy and daddy.

Christine: You would have a completely different set of challenges, wouldn’t you?

SB: Yes, different things would be expected of me. And I would want to know how to treat a woman properly. That is very important.

Christine: Your parents will be able to help both of you, no matter how it turns out. They love and respect each other and they live in a society where those awful things, like what happened to you, are very unlikely to occur.

SB: But Mommy and Daddy would love a girl just as much as a boy?

Christine: I am sure that your mom and dad, and your other relatives, will love both of you, whether you are boys or girls or one of each.

SB: That makes me feel very happy. I want to be wanted this time.

Christine: I am sure that you will be.

Do either of you have any  idea of what your life task and challenges will be?

SB: (clairvoyantly she looks about 12 years old now, and  very serious) I want to work in changing the way people think about each other. The way of thinking that made it possible for my parents to discard me because I was a girl. Perhaps as a lawyer, perhaps as a human rights activist, maybe travelling to other countries in the Peace Corps, maybe in some group that works with abused women and children. I want to help make the world a better place for everyone.

Christine: Do you have any ideas about your goal, G?

G: I have enjoyed being a Spirit Guide very much. I think I would like to do some kind of work that involves one-on-one coaching, or teaching, being a mentor with kids. Maybe in the sports field, maybe a child psychologist, I don’t know yet. But definitely helping kids find out what they are good at and encouraging them to become their own best selves.

I want to thank my grand-daughter  for the wonderful experience I have had being her Spirit Guide(smiles). I like to think I was still just being your grandpa, though on the other side.

Christine: I imagine that your grand-daughter will be happy to hear that she actually had her grandpa with her all along. What will you both need from your parents?

G: I think what every kid needs-an understanding that every child has his or her own hopes and dreams, even before entering this plane.

SB: Mommy and daddy, we will come to you with past experiences which have shaped us, for good and bad, and we need your help in being the best people we can be.

G: That means, I guess, taking time to play with us, listen to us, understand what a great blessing and responsibility you will be taking on. I don’t think I fully got, the last time around, that there is nothing more important you will ever do than be a good parent.

Christine: I am sure that you were a good parent.

G: Sure, I was, most of the time, but to take the time to play with a child, to know that they grow up in the blink of an eye-that’s something I would like to instill in my grand-daughter while I am still her spirit guide.

Christine: Who will your grand-daughter’s spirit guide be when you become her child?

G: (smiles) There is an angel waiting in the wings. She is lovely and gentle. She is here, actually, and she will be with my grand-daughter as her angel soon.

Christine: I understand that children have angels with them from the time of their birth.

G: Yes, and their mother always has access to the guardian angels. So when my grand-daughter becomes a mom she can always call on her children’s guardian angels to help with anything that comes up which she needs help with.

SB: We would like to come to visit our Mommy in her dreams, and our Daddy too, if he wants.

Christine: What can they do to help that happen?

G: Most people are able to astral travel in their sleep. That just means the sleeping spirit can travel to the other side, where those who have crossed over are, and also the unborn.

Christine: How will they know it’s you?

SB: We can take the form of children in our parents’ dreams.

G: We can also try to take the form of butterflies in the daytime. It is a form often taken by spirits between lives. Or sometimes a ladybug, dragonfly or unusual bird, such as you would not expect to see in your area.

Christine: So, something with wings?

SB: Yes. But not a bat.(smiles)

Christine: Are you feeling better now, SB?

Spirit Baby: If my mommy and daddy love me, that is all I could want.



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About the Author


I have now worked with over a hundred couples, helping them communicate with their miscarried or terminated or not yet conceived babies. It is extremely rare for a woman who wants a baby to NOT have a Spirit Baby in her aura, but when that has happened she has gotten a full and satisfactory explanation from her guide or angel.  It is gratifying every time I receive an email message or baby pictures. (Most of my clients are by email. Time and space have no meaning in the spiritual dimension).


Christine's first pregnancy led to a miscarriage that directly led to helping others with the same experience. Her older son and wife suffered infertility for four years which further increased her interest in helping families with this situation.








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